The Raw Truth About Parenting: No BS Guide
Let's cut the crap, shall we?
If you're reading this, chances are you're knee-deep in the trenches of parenthood, feeling like you're stuffing it up six ways from Sunday. Maybe you're standing in Coles, watching your kid chuck the mother of all tantrums while some judgey old bag shoots you death stares from behind her trolley. Yeah, I see you there, wanting to tell her to get stuffed but trying to keep your shit together.
Let's be brutally honest - most of us are carrying around more emotional baggage than Qantas lost last year. We're all walking around with our own childhood trauma, pretending we've got our shit sorted while inside we're scared stupid we're gonna fuck up our kids just like our parents fucked up us. And let's face it, some of us had it pretty rough.
Remember how your old man would "give you something to cry about"? Or how your mum's passive-aggressive guilt trips could make you feel lower than a snake's belly? Yeah, that stuff leaves marks deeper than any wooden spoon ever could. And here we are, swearing black and blue we won't do the same to our kids, while sometimes catching ourselves mid-sentence sounding exactly like the people who hurt us.
But here's the thing that'll really get up your nose - all those perfect parents on Instagram can get absolutely stuffed. You know the ones - their kids eat organic everything, never touch a screen, and apparently shit rainbows (and yes! I totally believe these ideals are the goal, well maybe not the shitting rainbows, that’s just unrealistic!). Meanwhile, you're just trying to survive another dinner where your little darling declares they "hate your guts" because you served peas.
The truth? We're all winging it. And you know what? That's bloody okay.
Take my mate Sharon from Mount Druitt. Her boy was being a real little shit at school - throwing chairs, telling teachers to get fucked, the whole nine yards. Everyone's telling her to "discipline him properly" (we all know what that means, don't we?). Instead, she sat down with him one day, properly sat down, and found out he was being bullied. The poor little bugger was acting out because he was scared witless.
Here's where it gets real - Sharon had to face her own demons. See, she grew up being told to "harden up" and "stop being a sook." Realising her boy needed emotional support meant admitting she needed it too. That's harder than trying to fold a fitted sheet, but she did it.
And let's talk about Dave from Penrith. Single dad, tough as nails tradie who'd rather eat glass than talk about feelings. His daughter's hitting puberty, and he's about as comfortable with that as a wombat in a wetsuit. But instead of palming her off to his sister like his mates suggested, he's learning about periods and hormones and all that scary shit. Why? Because that's what his girl needs, and sometimes being a proper parent means being uncomfortable as all get out.
Look, here's the truth that nobody wants to say out loud: Sometimes being a good parent means telling the "experts" to get stuffed. Your great-aunt Beryl reckons kids these days need a "good belting"? Tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine. That sanctimonious mum at school pickup reckons your kid's ADHD is just bad parenting? She can go jump in the lake.
Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. They need to see your stuff up and own it. They need to hear you say "I was wrong" and "I'm sorry" and "I love you (even when you're being a total ratbag, but don’t say that)."
Some days you'll feel like you're nailing it. Others, you'll be hiding in the pantry, stuffing your face with Tim Tams and wondering if it's too early for a glass of chardy. Both are perfectly bloody normal.
The scary truth? We're raising the next generation here. Not just kids who can recite the alphabet or kick a footy, but humans who need to know it's okay to feel stuff, to stuff up, to be stuffed up, and to get back up again.
So here's my challenge to you, and yeah, it's a big one: Be brave enough to parent from your scars. Those wounds you've got? They're your superpower. They're teaching you exactly what your kids need - whether that's the hug you never got, the listening ear you always wanted, or the safety to stuff up without fear of being belted.
It's not about being some zen master of patience who never loses their shit. It's about being real enough to say "Mate, I lost the plot back there, and I'm sorry. Let's try again."
Is it controversial to suggest that maybe, just maybe, the "good old days" of parenting were actually pretty shithouse? Too right it is. But someone's gotta say it.
You're not raising kids to survive the same world you grew up in. You're raising them to build a better one. And yeah, that's terrifying.
But here's the kicker - you've got this. Even when you think you don't. Even when you're crying in the car after school drop off. Even when you're googling "how to remove texta from walls" at 3 AM.
You've got this because you're here, reading this, giving enough of a stuff to want to do better. That's not just good enough - that's bloody amazing.
So what do you reckon? Ready to tell perfect parenting to get stuffed and embrace the beautiful mess instead? Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They just need you to be real.
And if anyone tells you different? Well, they can jump off the Sydney harbour bridge.
Look, if you're sitting there nodding your head, feeling like someone finally gets it, I've got your back. Here's the deal:
Ready to stop feeling like you're walking through a minefield blindfolded? I've got three ways to help you get your parenting mojo back:
Join The No-BS Parent Club This isn't your typical namby-pamby parenting group where everyone pretends their kids eat quinoa and meditate. This is real talk, real support, and real strategies for real parents. We're talking bimonthly live sessions where you can ask anything (and I mean anything), a community of parents who get it, and resources that actually work in the real world, not just in some perfect parallel universe. The Family Architect Studio is here to help
The "Not Your Mothers Parenting Playbook" 9 modules of transformational work where we dive deep into your parenting style, tackle those triggers head-on, and build a toolkit that works for YOUR family. No cookie-cutter approaches, no judgment, just straight-up strategies that work. Join here
One-on-One Support Sessions, Sometimes you need more than general advice. You need someone who'll sit with you, hear your story, and help you work through the tough stuff. Whether it's dealing with your own childhood baggage or figuring out how to handle your little tacker's latest challenge, I've got your back. Book a 1:1 session and let's sort this out together. Get your free 30 minute session here
Don't let another day go by feeling like you're not enough. You've read this far - that already shows you're the kind of parent who gives a damn. Take that next step.
Ready to make a change? Here's what to do:
Visit bio.site/fantasticfutures to check out all the options
Drop me a message at philippa@fantasticfuture.com.au
Follow our Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fantasticfuturesaustralia for daily support and laughs
Sign up for the free "Timeouts can Kiss my Ass" 5 day challenge to get a taste of what we're about.
Remember, you're not just investing in becoming a better parent - you're investing in breaking cycles that have probably been running in your family for generations. That's pretty bloody important work, if you ask me.
No more feeling like you're the only one struggling. No more lying awake at night wondering if you're screwing it all up. No more trying to figure this out on your own.
Let's do this together. Because you deserve support, your kids deserve a parent who's got their shit together (most of the time), and this parenting gig is too important to just wing it.
What are you waiting for? Let's get started.
Cheers,
Philippa Scott
The Family Architect