Triggered, Not Trapped: Your No-BS Guide to Breaking Free From Parental Triggers
Let's get real about triggers, shall we?
You know that white-hot rage that floods your body when your kid tells you to get stuffed? The way your hands shake when they're pushing every single button you've got? That moment when you hear your own parents' words flying out of your mouth and want to be sick?
Yeah. That stuff. Let's talk about it.
Here's the truth: Every single one of us has triggers that make us go from zero to psycho faster than a V8 at Bathurst. Maybe it's the whining that sets your teeth on edge. Maybe it's the defiance that makes your blood boil. Or maybe it's the bloody backchat that sends you straight back to being eight years old, copping it from your old man.
Take my mate Dave from Geelong. Built like a brick shithouse, covered in tatts, looks like he could bench press a Commodore. His 4-year-old daughter's screaming sent him right back to hiding under his bed while his dad went mental. First time it happened, he had to walk outside and punch his garage wall. Now? He's got strategies that actually work, and his knuckles are grateful.
Here's the game-changer: Being triggered doesn't mean you're trapped.
Let me say that again for the people in the cheap seats: BEING TRIGGERED DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE TRAPPED.
Meet Katie from Cairns. Single mum, three kids under 6, working full time and running on empty. Her eldest was giving her lip about breakfast - again - and she felt that familiar rage building. But instead of exploding (like her mum would've), she caught herself. Took a deep breath. Said out loud: "I'm triggered, not trapped." Walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and gave herself 60 seconds to reset.
Small thing? Nah, that's massive. That's breaking a chain that's been wrapped around families for generations.
Here's your trigger-taming toolkit:
1. Spot Your Triggers
- Write 'em down (yes, actually write the buggers down)
- Rate them from "Bit Annoying" to "Complete Meltdown"
- Look for patterns (Time of day? Certain behaviors? Your own stress levels?)
2. Create Your Battle Plan
When you're triggered:
- Step back (physically move your body)
- Take three deep breaths (through your nose, out your mouth, like you're trying to blow out a bloody big birthday cake)
- Say your power phrase ("I'm triggered, not trapped" or "I Choose to know I am Safe")
- Choose your next move
Meet Barry from Wollongong. His kid's refusal to get ready for school would send him over the edge every morning. Why? Turns out his old man used to belt him for making the family late. Heavy stuff. Now? He gets up 15 minutes earlier, has a proper battle plan, and hasn't lost his shit in months.
The secret sauce? Your triggers are trying to tell you something. Listen to the buggers.
When you feel that rage/panic/whatever rising:
- Name it: "Right, this is my 'not being heard' trigger"
- Tame it: Use your battle plan
- Reframe it: "This is a chance to do better"
Real talk from Jade in Perth: "My three-year-old's tantrums were sending me off the deep end. Turns out I was never allowed to express big emotions as a kid. Now? When he chucks a wobbly, I say, 'Looks like you've got big feelings, mate. Let's sort this out together.' Changed everything."
Here's the thing about triggers - they're like those bin chickens at the beach. They're gonna show up, right? But you get to choose how you handle them.
Your action plan:
1. Pick your gnarliest trigger
2. Write down what it reminds you of (Be honest. This bit's gonna hurt.)
3. Create your battle plan
4. Practice the living hell out of it
5. Celebrate small wins ("Didn't lose my shit today!" is worth celebrating)
Remember: You're not just managing triggers - you're rewiring your brain. You're showing your kids that big feelings are okay. That we can stuff up and fix it. That being triggered doesn't mean the day's ruined.
Need backup? That's where I come in.
I've got three ways to help you turn this ship around:
The Family Architect Studio This isn't your standard kumbaya parenting circle where everyone pretends their triggers don't exist. This is where the real work happens. We're talking straight-up, no-BS support with bimonthly live sessions where you can share your trigger moments without judgment. Whether you lost it over Weetbix on the floor or had a full meltdown over homework battles, this community gets it. We're all in the trenches together, sharing what actually works in the real world, not some Instagram-perfect fantasy.
Jump into the Studio here: https://www.fantasticfuture.com.au/the-family-architect-studio
"Not Your Mother's Parenting Playbook" Nine full modules of game-changing work where we rip the bandaid off those generational wounds and build something better. This isn't about becoming some zen master who never gets triggered - it's about knowing what to do when you are.
Ready to break those chains? Get started here: https://www.fantasticfuture.com.au/from-overwhelm-to-empowered-parent-coaching-program
One-on-One Trigger Taming Sessions Sometimes you need someone in your corner who'll help you unpack the heavy stuff. Those moments that send you from zero to nuclear? The patterns you're scared you're repeating? The stuff that keeps you up at night? Let's sort it out together. Your first 30 minutes are on me - because everyone deserves a chance to break free from their triggers.
Book your free session here: https://calendly.com/pippa-fantasticfutures/30min
Don't let another day go by feeling like a prisoner to your triggers. You've read this far - that already shows you're ready for change. Take that next step.
The work isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's messy as hell. But it's worth it. Because every trigger you learn to handle is another chain broken, another pattern stopped, another chance to show your kids what healing looks like.
What are you waiting for? Your triggers don't have to define your parenting story. Let's rewrite this together.
Choose your path and let's get started. Because you deserve to parent from a place of power, not fear. Your kids deserve to see what it looks like when we face our stuff head-on.
Time to turn those triggers into your teaching moments.
Let's do this together. Because you deserve to parent without the weight of the past dragging you down. Your kids deserve to see what healing looks like. And this cycle of trigger-react-regret? It stops with you.
Book your spot now - let's turn those triggers into your parenting superpower.
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Drop me a message at philippa@fantasticfuture.com.au
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Sign up for the free "Timeouts can Kiss my Ass" 5 day challenge to get a taste of what we're about https://go.fantasticfuture.com.au/timeoutchallenge
Because here's the truth: You're not broken. You're not a bad parent. You're just carrying stuff that was never yours to carry in the first place. Time to put it down, yeah?
Time to show your kids what it looks like to be triggered, not trapped.