Module 3

Postpartum Recovery

Understanding Your Partner's Postpartum Journey

Childbirth is a beautiful miracle, but the postpartum period brings a whirlwind of changes for your partner, both physically and emotionally. As her teammate, your understanding and support are crucial. Here's a guide to navigating this transformation together:

1. Battling Fatigue: Imagine giving birth and then becoming a 24/7 caregiver with minimal sleep – that's your partner's reality. Expect tiredness, forgetfulness, and low energy.

How you can help:

  • Prioritise her sleep: Take night shifts with the baby, handle nighttime feedings if breastfeeding isn't happening, and encourage daytime naps. Don’t take over here though, she needs to feel like you are doing it together and if breastfeeding is new this requires lots of skin to skin contact time. Taking the baby can disrupt that, so do everything else.

  • Become a master delegator: Share household chores, errands, and baby duties (baths, changing, soothing). Accept help from family and friends without hesitation. Write a list of idea’s and put it on the fridge so people can see what you need help with.

  • Promote relaxation: Offer massages, footbaths, quiet time alone, or help her find calming activities like meditation or gentle yoga when she is ready. A nice shower on her own may be bliss right now!

2. Weathering the Hormonal Storm: Pregnancy hormones take a nosedive after birth, leading to mood swings, tearfulness, and even baby blues. Be patient and understanding.

How you can help:

  • Practice empathy: Validate her feelings, listen without judgement, and offer gentle reassurance.

  • Be the rock: Be a stable presence, offering hugs, words of encouragement, and practical support in her moments of overwhelm.

  • Seek professional help: If symptoms are severe or persistent, encourage her to talk to her doctor or a therapist.

3. Honouring Her Birth Experience: Whether she completed a VBAC or had a repeat Caesarean, focus on her emotional and physical well-being right now.

For VBAC:

  • Celebrate the journey: While the birth may not have gone exactly as planned, acknowledge her strength and resilience throughout the VBAC process.

  • Offer emotional support: Listen to her feelings, validate her choices, and be a safe space for any disappointment or frustration she might have.

  • Focus on the present: Celebrate the arrival of your healthy baby and encourage her to prioritise rest and recovery at this crucial time. Please don’t minimise her feelings though by saying “At least you and the baby are safe and healthy”. This may be how you feel but it doesn’t provide a safe and understanding place for her to process her own feelings.

For Repeat Cesarean:

  • Acknowledge and validate her emotions: Let her know it's okay to feel grief or sadness that the VBAC plan didn't materialise. If the caesarean was planned there may still be feelings to process. Be a comforting presence and offer emotional support.

  • Offer emotional support: Listen to her feelings, validate her choices, and be a safe space for any disappointment or frustration she might have.

  • Focus on the present: Celebrate the arrival of your healthy baby and encourage her to prioritise rest and recovery at this crucial time. Please don’t minimise her feelings though by saying “At least you and the baby are safe and healthy”. This may be how you feel but it doesn’t provide a safe and understanding place for her to process her own feelings.

  • Prioritise her physical and emotional needs: Help her manage the aches and pains of surgery, offer assistance with daily tasks, and encourage her to reach out for help when needed.

Remember

Every birth experience is unique, and her feelings matter most. Be supportive, patient, and flexible as she adjusts to motherhood of 2. Offer a listening ear, validate her choices, and focus on building a strong family unit.

Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful:

Partners, this is your time to step up and be the pillar of strength your partner needs. By offering unwavering support, understanding, and practical help, you can navigate the postpartum journey together, emerging stronger and closer than ever before.

Remember

You are not alone. Seek help and celebrate the small victories along the way. This is a team effort, and together, you can create a beautiful foundation for your growing family.

Dads/Partners' Role in Newborn Bonding and Development

The first moments after birth are an incredibly special time for both parents and baby. It's a period of transition, adjustment, and, most importantly, bonding. While traditionally the focus has been on the mother-baby connection, research increasingly highlights the crucial role dads and partners play in early bonding through skin-to-skin contact.

What is skin-to-skin contact?

Also known as "kangaroo care," skin-to-skin contact involves holding your bare-chested baby against your bare chest, usually immediately after birth. This practice fosters a close, intimate connection that goes beyond simply holding your baby.

Why is skin-to-skin contact so important?

Benefits for the baby

  • Stabilisation of vital signs: Skin-to-skin contact regulates a newborn's temperature, heart rate, and breathing, promoting a calming and stabilising effect.

  • Pain relief: Studies suggest skin-to-skin contact can reduce pain in newborns, potentially lowering the need for medication.

  • Improved brain development: The warmth and closeness of skin-to-skin contact stimulate the release of hormones like oxytocin, crucial for early brain development and stress reduction.

  • Enhanced breastfeeding: Skin-to-skin contact promotes easier latching and increased milk production, facilitating successful breastfeeding.

Benefits for the dad/partner

  • Bonding and attachment: Skin-to-skin contact promotes the release of oxytocin and other bonding hormones in dads/partners, fostering a strong emotional connection with their baby.

  • Reduced stress and anxiety: The calming effect of skin-to-skin contact can ease the anxieties and uncertainties new fathers often experience.

  • Increased confidence in fatherhood: Early involvement in caring for the baby boosts confidence and competence in dads/partners, setting the stage for a more active and engaged fatherhood role.

Beyond the immediate benefits, skin-to-skin contact has long-term positive effects for both baby and parent, including:

  • Stronger parent-child relationships

  • Improved emotional well-being

  • Reduced risk of postpartum depression

  • Enhanced cognitive development in babies

Making skin-to-skin contact work:

  • Start immediately after birth: Ideally, begin skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible after birth, while the baby is still alert and active. If the baby was born via caesarean this is still possible, and even more important that the partner takes the initiative here. The birthing woman may experience extreme shaking during and after a caesarean making holding a baby more precarious. There is also limited room on a mothers chest and the operating theatre is often very cold.

  • Find a comfortable position: Experiment with different positions to find one that works best for you, your partner, and your baby.

  • Stay skin-to-skin for as long as possible: Aim for at least 30 minutes, but even shorter periods can be beneficial. You already know you will get peed and pooped on more than once in your parenting journey so don't let this impact you.

  • Talk and sing to your baby: Skin-to-skin contact is a perfect opportunity to connect with your baby through your voice and presence. Tell them how precious and loved they are. That they are wanted and safe. That any stress or anxiety from the pregnancy or birth is over now and they are safe.

  • Don't worry about being perfect: Simply relax and enjoy this special time with your newborn.

Remember

Dads and partners are not just accessories in the bonding process. Skin-to-skin contact is a powerful tool that allows them to actively participate in nurturing their newborn and establishing a strong, loving bond from the very first moments. Just don’t take away from Mum here.

Helping with breastfeeding, baby care, and chores

Strap yourselves in fellas. You've just witnessed childbirth, VBAC, or repeat C-section style, and now you're holding this tiny human, a wrinkly, squalling masterpiece that somehow needs you more than ever.

Congratulations, you're a dad (again!), and this time, the stakes are even higher. You've got a bigger crew to wrangle, and your partner's recovering from an intensely personal event. Deep breaths, dads, you've got this. Here's how to be the superhero support system your family needs:

For VBAC

Your partner just went through an intense physical and emotional journey. A VBAC recovery is no walk in the park, so be her knight in shining armour. Anticipate her needs, bring her water and snacks, and offer endless encouragement. Learn about VBAC recovery tips, like helping her find comfortable positions and managing any perineal discomfort. Remember, it's about teamwork now. Be her cheerleader, her rock, and her biggest advocate.

For C-Section

If your partner had a repeat C-section, recovery might be similar to her first experience, but with the added pressure of juggling older kids. Be her support squad! Take charge of the older ones, handle school drop-offs, bring water and food, meal prep, and playtime. Let your partner rest and focus on healing. Offer to help with wound care, medication reminders, and emotional support. Remember, this is major surgery, so patience and understanding are key.

Nappy Duty and the Great Burping Quest

Yes, the poop patrol is still in full effect, maybe even more so now with a bigger crew. Master the art of the multi-child nappy change, the strategic application of nappy cream on wriggling toddlers, and the ninja-like speed of a nappy change under fire while simultaneously entertaining the older ones. Burping? Consider yourself a wind-wrangler extraordinaire, a master of patting backs and soothing gurgles for all ages. Remember, every burp is a victory, and every poop-nami contained is a badge of honour, times two (or three!).

The Sleepless Knight Saga

Sleep? What sleep? Your partner will be up at all hours, feeding, soothing, and singing lullabies while you… well, try to keep the older kids from turning the house into a circus. Offer to help with night feeds, even if it's just holding the baby while she eats or grabs a quick shower. Remember, even a few hours of uninterrupted sleep can make a world of difference. And hey, those quiet moments in the dark with your little one can be pretty magical too.

Fortress of Laundry and Dishes

The sink is overflowing, the laundry basket is a Mount Everest of mismatched socks, and the floor seems to magically attract crumbs like a black hole. Don't let the domestic chaos overwhelm you! Channel your inner domestic god (or goddess). Take charge of the kitchen, fold those tiny socks with military precision, and attack the laundry mountain with the ferocity of a dragon slayer. Your partner will appreciate a clean space and a full belly, and you'll feel like a hero (even if the dishes are still piled high).

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Postpartum hormones are a wild ride, and your partner might be feeling like a rollercoaster of emotions, amplified by the pressure of caring for older kids. Be her rock, her confidant, her shoulder to cry on. Listen without judgment, offer words of affirmation ("You're doing an amazing job!"), and remind her that she's not alone. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you think she's struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety. Remember, being a strong dad means being emotionally present and supportive of everyone in the family.

Don't Forget the Big Kids

They might feel a little lost in the newborn whirlwind, but your older kids need your attention and love too. Spend quality time with them, one-on-one, doing activities they enjoy. Read them stories, play games, and reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed. This will help them adjust to the new family dynamic and strengthen your bond with them.

strengthen your bond with them.

The Forgotten Hero

Dads and partners, you're not just a nappy-changing, burp-mastering, laundry-folding machine. You're a dad, a partner, and a superhero juggling act. Take time for yourself, go for a walk, hang out with your buddies, and recharge your batteries. A happy dad is a better dad, and a healthy relationship is the foundation of a happy family.

Partners, you just witnessed childbirth, VBAC or repeat C-section, and now you're holding this tiny miracle. But beneath the surface, something might feel different. Your partner, the warrior mama who just tackled natural childbirth or a major medical event, might be struggling. The joy of new life can be shadowed by postpartum mood changes, and recognizing them is crucial for both of you.

VBAC Blues

The emotional rollercoaster after a VBAC can be intense. The physical recovery, coupled with the hopes and anxieties of a natural birth after a previous C-section, can leave her feeling vulnerable. Watch for these signs:

  • Tearfulness and irritability: Don't brush it off as hormones. Listen patiently and offer support without judgement.

  • Withdrawal from family and activities: This could be a sign of depression or anxiety. Encourage gentle social interaction and remind her it's okay to need help.

  • Fear of future pregnancies or birth trauma flashbacks: Validate her feelings and offer support groups or therapy if needed. Remember, VBAC can be emotionally triggering.

  • Guilt: Believe it or not but sometimes having completed a VBAC comes with guilt over having let your child born by Caesarean down. This is extremely common and often comes along with the knowledge that she is not broken, that her body works. This also means that there can be regrets, newly uncovered feelings of responsibility that haven’t been worked through and an acute awareness of the different bond that may have with their VBAC baby. Hold her through this, it will be new, fresh and often unexpected. Ideally doing therapeutic healing before the birth can illuminate much of this.

C-Section Scars Run Deep

Even a planned repeat C-section can come with emotional hurdles. The physical recovery adds to the pressure of caring for an older child and a newborn. Be alert for these signs:

  • Overwhelm and exhaustion: She might feel like she's failing to "bounce back." Offer to take on extra responsibilities and give her time to rest and heal.

  • Disappointment and grief: She might mourn the VBAC dream or feel guilty about a repeat C-section. Be a safe space for her emotions and validate her feelings.

  • Body image struggles: Scars and physical changes can affect self-esteem. Remind her of her strength and resilience, and encourage body positivity.

Additional Resources and Support

  • Birth Trauma Therapy: If your partner or you are experiencing birth trauma symptoms, consider seeking a specialist. Birth trauma therapists provide specialised support and tools for healing. Look for therapists trained in perinatal mental health and trauma-informed care.

  • Group Support: Online or in-person groups connecting with other women who've experienced VBAC, repeat C-sections, or birth trauma can offer understanding, validation, and shared coping strategies.

  • Online Resources: Websites like Postpartum Support International (PSI) (https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/international/resource/) and The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) (https://www.nct.org.uk/) offer resources and information on birth trauma and postpartum mental health and www.fantasticfuture.com.au. And the Resolving Birth Trauma support group on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1557659601429408)

  • Supporting Your Partner: Gently suggest therapy if you think it could benefit your partner. Help her research therapists, accompany her to sessions if needed, and advocate for her when communicating with healthcare providers.

  • Building a Strong Support System: Talk to your family and friends, connect with other dads, and utilise community resources for childcare, meals, transportation, or support programs.

Remember

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. By proactively accessing additional support and therapy, you can support yourself or your partner to heal and build a healthy, joyful family life. You've got this, partners! Let's champion not just physical recovery, but mental and emotional well-being for the whole family during this precious and sometimes challenging time.

Family Confidence: Celebrating Growth and the Future

The birth of your newborn, whether through VBAC or repeat C-section, is a monumental occasion. Now, as the dust settles and your family unit expands, it's time to focus on building confidence not just for your partner, but for the entire family. Here's how:

Celebrating the Journey

  • VBAC: If your partner completed her VBAC dream, celebrate it! Throw a small party, create a photo album, or write a letter to your newborn chronicling her incredible journey. Remind your partner that she's a warrior mum who defied the odds.

  • C-Section Strength: Don't diminish the strength and resilience it takes to recover from a C-section. Acknowledge the physical and emotional hurdles your partner overcame. Plan a spa day, a quiet dinner, or a special outing to show your appreciation. The suggestions above are also very valid here.

  • Family Bonding: Celebrate the arrival of your little one as a family unit. Capture moments of connection – dad holding the baby, siblings introducing themselves, or the happy exhaustion on everyone's faces. These memories will forever remind you of this special time.

Preparing for Future Challenges

  • VBAC Recovery Support: Even a successful VBAC comes with physical and emotional adjustments. Be patient and supportive. If you are planning more children then talk about how this journey will impact future choices.

  • C-Section Healing: Be a pillar of support as your partner recovers from her surgery. Offer emotional reassurance by listening to her concerns and validating her feelings. Talk about what you have learned for next time if that’s the plan.

  • Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication within the family. Talk about any anxieties or challenges, including fears of future pregnancies or lingering birth trauma. Seek professional help if needed.

Building Family Confidence

  • Positive Body Image: Celebrate your partner's body, regardless of stretch marks or scars. Remind her of her strength and beauty, both inside and out. Encourage healthy body image for yourself and your children, focusing on inner qualities and physical capabilities.

  • Shared Responsibilities: Involve everyone in caring for the newborn. Delegate tasks, encourage siblings to help, and encourage your partner to delegate tasks and rest when needed. Building a supportive team fosters confidence and reduces stress.

  • Seeking Support: Don't be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or community resources. Utilise childcare services, support groups, or therapy if needed. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength and ensures everyone's well-being.

Embrace the Journey

Every family's VBAC or C-section experience is unique. There will be challenges, highs and lows, and moments of pure joy. Focus on celebrating the victories, big and small, and supporting each other through the inevitable hurdles. By fostering open communication, celebrating personal strengths, and building a strong family support system, you can navigate the future with confidence and create a happy, healthy environment for everyone to thrive.

Hey Dads! Ready for the wildest ride of your life? No, it's not a new action movie; it's the postpartum period! Welcome to our not-so-serious but seriously helpful quiz, part of Module 3: "Postpartum Recovery and Building Confidence." It's like a survival guide but with more laughs and less danger.

Additional Resources and Support

References

https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-019-40650-2

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7786988/

Kasser, S., Hartley, C., Rickenbacher, H. et al. Birth experience in newborn infants is associated with changes in nociceptive sensitivity. Sci Rep 9, 4117 (2019).

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-40650-2

Astatikie, G., Limenih, M.A. & Kebede, M. Maternal and fetal outcomes of uterine rupture and factors associated with maternal death secondary to uterine rupture. BMC Pregnancy Childbirth 17, 117 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-017-1302-z