From Frazzled to Fantastic: Why Mum's "Anger" Might Be Overstimulation
Let's face it, mums are superheroes. We juggle a million tasks, anticipate tiny human needs, and dispense endless cuddles (and biscuits). But even superheroes have their kryptonite, and for many mums, that kryptonite is overstimulation.
The problem? Overstimulation often gets mistaken for anger. You know the scene: playtime descends into chaos, demands escalate, and suddenly your voice goes from gentle to "Mummy-needs-a-time-out" loud. Here's the thing: that frustration might not be anger at all, but a sign you're overloaded.
Why the Mix-Up?
Our bodies react similarly to overstimulation and anger. Heart rate spikes, muscles tense, and voices rise. This can be confusing, especially for little ones who are still figuring out emotions. Plus, being constantly bombarded by needs and having zero downtime can lead to frustration, which can then bubble over into what seems like anger.
The Pressure to Be Perfect
Mums often feel immense pressure to prioritise their children's needs, sometimes neglecting their own. This makes it hard to say, "I'm feeling overwhelmed!" So, the frustration manifests differently.
Next Time You Feel "Angry"
Take a deep breath, mama. Here are some clues it might be overstimulation, not anger:
Sensory overload: Is your environment noisy or chaotic?
Constant demands: Have you been meeting needs non-stop?
No time for you: When was the last time you had a quiet moment?
From Frazzled to Fantastic
The good news? Once you recognise the signs, you can take steps to prevent meltdowns (yours and your little one's!):
Schedule self-care: Even 10 minutes of quiet can make a world of difference.
Communicate: Let your partner or a trusted friend know you need a break.
Create a calm space: Designate a quiet area for you and your child to unwind.
A mum who seems "angry" might just be a superhero needing a recharge. By recognising overstimulation and taking care of yourself, you can go from feeling frazzled to fantastic, both for yourself and your little one.
The Long-Term Impact
It's important to remember that overstimulation isn't just about the immediate situation. Mums who experience long-term stress and emotional strain may find their threshold for overstimulation is lower. Think of it like that balloon - a lifetime of stress has already inflated it quite a bit, so even small demands can push it to the bursting point.
The Power of Support
The good news is, with the right support, we can help deflate that metaphorical balloon! This could involve:
Sharing the Load: Talk to your partner or family about sharing childcare responsibilities.
Seeking Help: Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or even a therapist.
Prioritising Self-Care: Schedule activities you enjoy, even if it's just a few minutes a day.
By reducing the overall stress in your life, you'll be better equipped to handle those inevitable moments of overstimulation.
Remember, Mums are superheroes, but even superheroes need a good support system!
Feeling overwhelmed and burnt out? Philippa Scott, the founder of Fantastic Futures, is a childbirth educator, perinatal therapist, and family coach with over 20 years of experience. Fantastic Futures offers a range of services to support families and create a more positive birthing and parenting experience. Book a Strategy Call to learn more and take a step towards your own fantastic future!